Rockin' In The NICU HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

BOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freakin' Clothes, Hot Nurse, & SpermDonor

So the incubator warmers are off so I have to regulate my own temperature. That's totally bull shit. I also have to wear clothes now. That's also bullshit. I may look like SpermDonor, but my dislike for clothes I get from the MilkJugs.

I will fuss with all the nurses except my girlfriend. She's hot, young, & blonde. I don't fuss with her so she can put clothes on me & swaddle me all night long.

So last night I got a visit from MilkJugs & SpermDonor. I was going in & out of sleep so I only caught pieces of the conversation SpermDonor was telling me. He said something like he was an attonery or maybe it was that he kissed the Blarney Stone. I don't know what the hell he was talking about and it seems like it's a thin line between being an attonery & kissing a Blarney Stone. He also mentioned something that he will sue anyone that mistreats me. Well he better sue all the ugly nurses. I only want my girlfriend caring for me.

Victory!

I won my battle with the air tube in my nostrils. The nurses took it out a few days ago and let me pee on it before throwing it away. I have a new enemy now, my feeding tube. It goes down my nose. Over the last few days, I've ripped it out about a half-dozen times. The nurses keep putting it back in for some reason. It may have something to do with the fact that I stop breathing when fed from the bottle and the tube is the only way I can eat. I don't see the big deal. So what if I stop breathing every now and then? Anyway, once I get the "breathe and eat" trick down, I'll be allowed to leave the hospital and pee all over my parents at their house. Heh, heh. I hope they're ready to get peed on, because I've got urine with their names on it.

Boobie juice is also putting wieght on me. I should sell this shit on the black market.

Forget About McCain/Palin

Since I got myself born before the election, I recant my prior support for McCain/Palin. Now that I'm out of the womb, I don't have to worry about nutty issues like abortion. All I care about is getting changed on a regular basis.
I'm currently living in a NeoNatal Care Unit. It's a nice place, very warm, lots of female nurses catering to my every wish, and regular visits from my parents. I gripped onto my Pop's finger yesterday and wouldn't let him go. Moms has changed my diaper a few times, all is well. The only thing I don't like is the room quality oxygen that is being run through my nose to help me remember to breathe. I hate that thing! I keep pulling it out and the nurses keep putting more tape on me so I can't move it. I will win, believe me, I will win.
Part of me wants to get home to check out all those nice presents that I got from all my blogger friends, but then again, I'm not crazy about getting away from this 24 hour care.
For those of you who want to know how I was born, that's a whole other story that I will tell you later. Right now, I'm going back under my spotlight for my jaundice treatment. They just put my shades on.
AngryGinger out.