Ordering Pizza Is DIFFICULT!

This is what happened when I tried to order a pizza yesterday.

"Papa John's."

"Hey, Mr. Papa Johns, I'd like a large pepperoni pizza."

"OK, what's your address."

"The womb."

"What?"

"The womb."

"What the hell are you talking about? Where the hell is that?"

"First, watch the foul language. Profanity makes Baby Jesus cry. Second, I live in the womb. I'm AngryGinger, a fetus. When can I expect my pizza?"

"I hate to burst your bubble kid, but there's more than one womb in the world. Can you be more specific."

"Verizon didn't have a problem getting my cell phone to me, what's the deal?"

"OK, OK, tell me about your parents, maybe that will help."

"Well, dad's angry all the time and has a beard. He hates how mom is making him talk to her belly just so I can hear his voice and will know who he is when I'm born. And I agree, I've got half his genes as it is, I'll know who he is."

"Hmmm, I think I know that guy. Is he the one who got banned from the county library recently?"

"Yeah, that's the one. So can you get me my pizza?"

"Sorry, fetus, but I don't know where you live. What about your mom? What can you tell me about her?"

"She's a ginger, short, gets up early in the morning . . ."

"That sounds familiar."

"She's also a raging whore."

"Oh! You mean C.Rag!"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"We'll be there in 20 minutes. The pizza's on the house."

"Cool, man. Why's it free?"

"It's a thank you to your mom."

"What for?"

"She knows."

Free pizza is awesome.

NO THAT'S MY BATHING SUITE AREA & More THANKS

So there I was minding my own business, when I started feeling this thing moving on my roof. It can't be fat Santa & his reindeer. It's not December. At first I just thought it was the LandLady bumping & grinding. I've come to terms with her slutness. That's why I've come to terms with my prudness too. So I heard some strange man's voice saying, "That's the head. Let me measure it."
I thought to myself "Holy Shit Wiggles! There's some strange man looking at me."
He continued on saying, "There's the arms, heart beat..."
I was kicking my legs in anger. This Peeping Tom needs to leave me alone.
It was probably the same Peeping Tom that was looking at me when my intestines were lingering outside of me.
I heard the Peeping Tom say, "Okay, I'm going to move between the legs."

Oh no he didn't just say that. I'm not in some kiddie porn show. So I crossed my legs. No one is looking at my bathing suite area.
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I can't thank all of my Blogging Buddies enough for their kindness. I have two more awesome cool gifts from two of the coolest buddies in BlogLand. I can't wait until I'm out so I can wear their gifts while looking super awesome & beat up other kids at my play group.

The first gift comes from Malach The Merciless. It's an onesie of his softball team KMP with my name ANGRYGINGER & my number, 1, on the back. Don't worry Malach when I'm out of here, I will school you on how to play softball in my rockin' onesie. THANKS!

The second gift comes from the best Aussie EVER EVER, Cissy Strutt! She's also a fellow ginger so we are bounded by the Ginger Code, we kick ass because we have a mutated MC1R protein gene. My head will never get cold in my chocolate brown hat. I plan on wearing this when I leave the hospital since it will be cold when I finally pop out.