Roadtrip!!!

To where? Pittsburgh! Why oh why does my first trip have to be to Pittsburgh? Do they want to make me suffer? Why can't we go to Las Vegas? I want strippers. Do you know what Pittsburgh strippers look like?Yes it is horrible. I've already decided that my LandLady & Sperm Donor are lame ass butt lickers.

I should sell them on eBay.

Dilemmas

Dilemma #1:

What should I do if the LandLady is pro-choice while I’m pro-life?

Should I kill her once I’m out the womb for her wanting to kill off my brother & sister fetuses?

She believes in cheating life out of life. She wants to suck out all other brother & sister fetuses in other wombs throw them in the dumpsters & do a jig on the lives she killed. She is the devil. I’m living in the devil.

Dilemma#2:

Not only am I having all these moral issues with the LandLady, I’m also having a problem with the Sperm Donor who assumes I like every single sport & teams he likes. I have news for you, Sperm Donor, this is what I like. So you can bite my neck hair.

What will happen if I don't like one of these teams? What will happen if I don't like any of these teams? What will happen if I like one on the left just to piss you off when I'm a teenager? It could happen so you better get nachos for the LandLady.

What if my favorite bird is this?

What if I love this sport with such a passion?

Point is that I may not even like sports. I may be something like Atlas with his dolls. I may only like ballet. No reason to put pressure on me right now. Or I'll have to kill you at the same time I kill the Baby Killer LandLady, so Cash & I can move to Grandma's.

Oh No You Didn't

Yesterday morning I was doing what I normally do, sleep while my intestines linger outside of my body, which is totally normal.
Then this doctor fellow stick this wand up my LandLady's koochie to take pictures of me. For one thing I didn't ask for pictures. I didn't have any clothes on. I was asleep! What the Hell! Meanwhile Sperm Donor was extremely uncomfortable with some weirdo doctor sticking things up the LandLady. The LandLady was trying not to laugh at the situation.
I see no reason why they couldn't wait until I was awake to have some weirdo who looks at koochies all day to take my picture. As soon as the Sperm Donor scans in my picture, I will put it up.

What do I have to do to get some privacy?

Pizza Pizza Pizza!

I love this thing called pizza. I've won the battle in making my LandLady miserable unless she gives me pizza. I've made her throw up at work when she's eaten healthy shit. I'm not down with organic fruit, meats, veggies, & cheeses. They suck. I want pizza. I'll make her throw up if she doesn't give me pizza. I also like fruit bars.

She has finally learned what I want. She is slowly coming to terms that I get want I want.

PIZZA!