I’m Down With It.

So I have a plan against the man or my LandLord who is a lady…as far as I know.

My LandLady is naturally cold. She layers like an Eskimo when it’s only 50 degrees. Come on!

I can’t make her sick, but I can make her colder. I’m sucking all her warmth.

YES…ALL THE WARMTH FOR ME!

Attack #1

So Cash has telepathically order me to make my LandLady very sick. The problem is that she has a stomach of steel. She doesn't have nausea and she's not vomiting. I don't know what else I can do. I have limited mobility right now so I can't be too much of a disruptive tenant. Any suggestions or should I just wait until I'm a teenager to deal out my damage.

Hey It's Dark In Here

This uterus I'm living in is pretty dark. I'm trying to get my own place. Apparently you have to experience live birth to rent from most landlords, so it's not going that well. I get surprisingly good cell phone service here.

So I've just been recruited to join an army. An army of canines to take over the world. They are going to use me as the mole. I'm Hu-Man, but I will follow my leader the brave Cash. All you Hu-Mans think I'm one of you, but I'm not. We shall overcome.