What should I do if the LandLady is pro-choice while I’m pro-life?
Should I kill her once I’m out the womb for her wanting to kill off my brother & sister fetuses?
She believes in cheating life out of life. She wants to suck out all other brother & sister fetuses in other wombs throw them in the dumpsters & do a jig on the lives she killed. She is the devil. I’m living in the devil.
Dilemma#2:
Not only am I having all these moral issues with the LandLady, I’m also having a problem with the Sperm Donor who assumes I like every single sport & teams he likes. I have news for you, Sperm Donor, this is what I like. So you can bite my neck hair.
What will happen if I don't like one of these teams? What will happen if I don't like any of these teams? What will happen if I like one on the left just to piss you off when I'm a teenager? It could happen so you better get nachos for the LandLady.
What if my favorite bird is this?
Point is that I may not even like sports. I may be something like Atlas with his dolls. I may only like ballet. No reason to put pressure on me right now. Or I'll have to kill you at the same time I kill the Baby Killer LandLady, so Cash & I can move to Grandma's.
13 comments:
As long as Landlady keeps feeding you pizza, I'd give her a break. As for Spermdonor, just remind him it could be worse- you could grow up to be a Yankees fan.
Or, god forbid, NASCAR...
ColCol,
Thanks I hadn't thought of Nascar.
That's something else I will use when I'm a teenager. Drugs & sex won't bother them as much as Nascar.
Good for you. It's never too early to start building up that list of things to argue about when you're a teenager and know everything.
In the meantime, you've got Cash. I'm sure Cash would be willing to nip spermdonor on his sore ankle for your if he gets too overbearing.
Just focus on the boobs for now; you are overthinking all this. Although I'd really give the golf thing a pass...
Calm down angry baby.
Is that why you get all touchy when I grab a coat hanger to put my clothes on?
You are NOT going to be a dumpster baby.
ok, so if you want sperm donor to respect you, one of the first things you need to do when you get out is to pee on him. that's how i get all of my coworkers to respect me... should work for you!
If you like the Tar Heels, then Grandma probably wouldn't let you stay w/her.
It's best not to mingle in the Landlady's politics right now. In a few years maybe you can kill her, but for now and the foreseeable future, you need her.
As far as the Sperm Donor goes, he is expendable. You've gotten about all of the use out of him that you are ever going to get.
Phoebe,
I plan on having a long list to piss them off, especially SpermDonor. His veins in his neck pops out when he is angry. It's funny.
Here,
Boobs are the most important thing ever ever.
LandLady,
At least I wasn't your Prom Night Dumpster Baby.
Tequila,
Cash does the same thing, but it's more about territory than respect.
SpermDonor,
Do you really think Grandma cares about college basketball? She has more important things like waiting on Cash & me & Uncle Stinky (even though he's in college).
Mike,
I see her going Susan Smith at any point. He's not expendable. I need his income earning potential.
dear little ag, I'll teach you the rules of cricket. I think that would burst the vein, don't you?
Angry Ginger, this is your pal Little Dot in the other world speaking, suck it up for now dude, get your free ride, free room and board first... then think of a way to get your pal here out there please!
DON'T JEOPARDIZE THE BIG PLAN
Little Dot Out
The Strutt,
If I knew what "bust a vein" meant I would agree. Cricket goes on too long like baseball. I may create shorter faster version of cricket.
Little Dot,
You should come out on the other side. We could create our own gang.
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