Come On!

The only thing keeping me from coming home is that my heart rate will drop. I have to be seven days free of the "spells" before I can come home.

So come on spells, fuck off.
I want to come home so I can be held all day & have the titty on demand.

Rockin' In The NICU HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

BOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freakin' Clothes, Hot Nurse, & SpermDonor

So the incubator warmers are off so I have to regulate my own temperature. That's totally bull shit. I also have to wear clothes now. That's also bullshit. I may look like SpermDonor, but my dislike for clothes I get from the MilkJugs.

I will fuss with all the nurses except my girlfriend. She's hot, young, & blonde. I don't fuss with her so she can put clothes on me & swaddle me all night long.

So last night I got a visit from MilkJugs & SpermDonor. I was going in & out of sleep so I only caught pieces of the conversation SpermDonor was telling me. He said something like he was an attonery or maybe it was that he kissed the Blarney Stone. I don't know what the hell he was talking about and it seems like it's a thin line between being an attonery & kissing a Blarney Stone. He also mentioned something that he will sue anyone that mistreats me. Well he better sue all the ugly nurses. I only want my girlfriend caring for me.

Victory!

I won my battle with the air tube in my nostrils. The nurses took it out a few days ago and let me pee on it before throwing it away. I have a new enemy now, my feeding tube. It goes down my nose. Over the last few days, I've ripped it out about a half-dozen times. The nurses keep putting it back in for some reason. It may have something to do with the fact that I stop breathing when fed from the bottle and the tube is the only way I can eat. I don't see the big deal. So what if I stop breathing every now and then? Anyway, once I get the "breathe and eat" trick down, I'll be allowed to leave the hospital and pee all over my parents at their house. Heh, heh. I hope they're ready to get peed on, because I've got urine with their names on it.

Boobie juice is also putting wieght on me. I should sell this shit on the black market.

Forget About McCain/Palin

Since I got myself born before the election, I recant my prior support for McCain/Palin. Now that I'm out of the womb, I don't have to worry about nutty issues like abortion. All I care about is getting changed on a regular basis.
I'm currently living in a NeoNatal Care Unit. It's a nice place, very warm, lots of female nurses catering to my every wish, and regular visits from my parents. I gripped onto my Pop's finger yesterday and wouldn't let him go. Moms has changed my diaper a few times, all is well. The only thing I don't like is the room quality oxygen that is being run through my nose to help me remember to breathe. I hate that thing! I keep pulling it out and the nurses keep putting more tape on me so I can't move it. I will win, believe me, I will win.
Part of me wants to get home to check out all those nice presents that I got from all my blogger friends, but then again, I'm not crazy about getting away from this 24 hour care.
For those of you who want to know how I was born, that's a whole other story that I will tell you later. Right now, I'm going back under my spotlight for my jaundice treatment. They just put my shades on.
AngryGinger out.

I Hate My Parents

I don't ask for that much from my parents, just a little calcium from the LandLady's bones. If I get that, I'm fine. But I can't believe what the LandLady and the SpermDonor are doing to me. They're voting for . . . gasp . . . Obama/Biden.
Terrible, I know.
How can they support someone who is a baby killer? All I want to do is make sure that I'll be able to be born, and with nuts like McCain and Palin, who don't want to allow abortion even in cases of rape and incest, I won't have to worry about any trips to the abortionist in between stops at IHOP and Target.
My Grandma was trying to tell me that I have to think about the future, and about what McCain would do to Social Security. I reminded her that I'm due after the election, and that I just want to be born, we can worry about Social Security later. And little things like taxes, the war in Iraq, and the housing crisis are pretty trivial when compared to being born. Once I get out of the womb, we can deal with all that other stuff. In fact, once I'm born, I probably won't care about abortion until I'm in high school and I knock up some chick. At that point, I'll be in favor of it, but we'll deal with that when we get there.
I just want to get born.
VOTE McCAIN/PALIN, MAKE SURE I WILL BE BORN!